bruno's quit

As I reflect over my smoking history, I realize how ingrained smoking is to my identity.  

• When I need to “meditate” and think over ideas and concepts in my head, I smoke. I’ve allowed to it to be an important tool in my brainstorming and personal reflection time.
• I’ve had so many great relationship-building times over cigarettes while great topics and deep conversations flow.
• Any habitual smoker knows the calming effects of a cigarette during stressful times.
• Like many habits, cigarettes are used as an award for a job well done or to celebrate something positive in one’s life.
• As strange or as wrong as it might sound, (and in the same way I’ve had deep conversations with friends) I have had great times of prayer over a cigarettes.

My real identity

The fact of the matter is, as much as smoking has added to my identity, it isn’t my true identity.  My true identity is in Christ!  We are ID’ed in Christ in 7 ways.

We are identified in Christ:

1. In His Death (Romans 6:3-6, Galatians 2:20, Colossians 3:1-3)
2. In His Burial (Romans 6:4)
3. In His Resurrection (Romans 6: 5,8,11)
4. In His Ascension (Ephesians 2:6)
5. In His Life (Romans 6:10,11)
6. In His Power (Ephesians 1:19)
7. In His Inheritance (Romans 8:16,17 Ephesians 1:11,12) 

This is the struggle.  My own identity, vs my identity in Jesus Christ.  

Please pray:  That the Lord will take the joy of smoking and turn it into a total disgust. That the joy of smoking will be replaced with even more of Christ’s Joy. Pray that the Lord will show me a suitable replacement to smoking (something to occupy my mind and fingers to displace any anxiety a lack of smoking brings forth). Pray that the Lord will completely heal my dependency on ANYTHING that takes away my dependency from Him.

Yep… I have let 9 weeks go by without writing.  I am off the wagon.  In relapse.  I am smoking again.  

Admitting defeat is certainly no fun.  Admitting weakness.  Lack of self-discipline.  

Yet, I have been challenged by my friend J. Cave to keep writing.  Even if it is in the face of defeat.  I guess honesty is at least genuine.  Something real.

The fact of the matter is that I just enjoy smoking.  I really do.  I love it.  I’ve tried to tell myself that I don’t.  But it’s hard to lie to myself.  

Well… first off I have have to admit that I skipped a week.  

I apologize.  Though, take comfort int he fact that in taking a break from the blog for week 2, I did not take a break from my quit.

Week 2:

In week 2, the week I went to Boston, I gave in and smoked when my friend smoked. Although she’s not a heavy smoker (that helped) I believe I smoked about 10 cigarettes over the 5 days I was in Boston.  I did not purchase any packs of cigarettes however.  I was very tempted to purchase a few packs for my visit but did not.  I returned home last Monday… which brings us week 3.

Week 3:

From the time I left Boston, till now… I have not smoked one cigarette.  I have smoked the electronic cigarette and it’s been a big help.  But I have not purchased nor “bummed one” from anyone, though I have, of course been tempted to.  

I did notice one good thing however in relation to the electronic cigarette.  I have had moments when I realized that I had not smoked.  In other words, I noticed that at times I was not smoking when I would otherwise would have been.  So, little pockets of the addiction fading, though I am in no way out of the woods.  I still have a long road to haul.

Some recent thoughts.

You know this past week since I’ve been thinking that if all I am trying to do is behavior modification, I’m just doomed to fail.  Modifying our actions is usually like bailing out a leaky boat with a sieve.  We are creatures of habit.  The real problem with something like addiction isn’t a self-control or discipline problem at it’s core. It’s a lack of Jesus problem.  A verse that my pastor, Andrew had me memorize is Colossians 3: 1-3. “If then you have been crucified with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.  Set your mind on the things above not on things on earth.  For you have died and your life is hidden in Christ with God”. 

The bottom line is that we use substances because we believe that they promise some transcendence that only Christ can fill.  Now, there are chemicals that your brain wants more and more of and that is what pulls an addiction.  But in the end that is seeking something on earth (setting our minds on earthly things) and it’s a sin towards God; the only way to really become free is through our diligent worship and glory of Him in whom we are hidden.  

Thanks for all your prayers and I ask that you continue to pray that as the Lord uses this time of breaking free of an earthly thing he’ll strengthen my testimony and that it’ll be used to build His Kingdom.  

Have a great week. Oh! If you yourself are struggling with an addiction to cigarettes, I highly recommend the electronic cigarette I use, Premium E-Cigarette. I have a banner below for those interested in learning more about them.

So my first week has gone fantastically well!  

I smoked only three cigarettes due to my electronic cigarettes dying out.  I was with a friend that smokes and it was an easy temptation.  However I did get right back on track.  I am using two different e-cigarettes.

One, I get at the local tobacconist.  I went this option because I figured that if I ran than I can drive a mile down the street and stock up so I don’t have any excuses.

The other I get online and it’s a bit better in quality.  I can also purchase lesser and lesser levels of nicotine so I’m not addicted to just the e-cigarettes.   

Well, I’ll be traveling and out-of-town this coming weekend so I’m a bit nervous about that.  Though my friend that I’ll be seeing doesn’t smoke so it won’t be a major temptation.  

I like this passage I found in 1st Corinthians: “Be vigilant; stand fast in the faith; quit yourselves like men; be strong.” 1st Corinthians 16:13.  I like that… “quit yourselves like men”.  Cool!

Please continue to keep me in your prayers as I resist the urge to light up.  Pray that I will be able to ‘quit like men’.

“Bruno, I’ll certainly be praying just as you suggested - that the Lord’s strength will be at work in you as you choose to quit.  You are the cooolest.”

Brad used the ‘Submit’ feature found here.